It's very hard to lose a child...in the life our my church we have lost two children in the last 4 months, both to car accidents. One was 17, the other was 24...born the same year as Thomas. Daniel, the young man who died this week, was very active in the church youth group at the same time as Steven and Thomas- he didn't always follow the conservative path to life and he was a very active young man. During the service today, the words spoken referred to his never ending smile, his zest for life, and the fact that he never would say goodbye, only "see ya later"! What made today's service hard for me, in addition to being there by myself, was seeing the pictures of Daniel's youth activities which included several pictures of Steven. I don't want to outlive my children...not that they want to see me die, but, a parent is not "supposed" to outlive their child!
It is times like this that you realize how fragile life is...would I be ready if today was my day to go to meet God? Are you?
For those limited few that read this blog, please know that I love you all and please forgive me for anything that I may have done that has ever caused you pain. I do the best that I can, and I hope that if there's anything I do that causes you pain that you will let me know. I also hope that you all are taking the time to resolve problems in your life so that you are ready on any given day, ready for yourself and ready for those you love.
I know...somewhat of a downer today, but since I haven't really posted in awhile, it's rambling anyway!
With the staff at school, we were talking about the fact that, as educators, we are sometimes more tuned in to the "wrong" than the "right"- looking for the faults and trying to fix them rather than seeing the good and enhancing them. Did you know that, on an average, people have 50,000 some odd thoughts a day- 80% of them are negative, or are aimed at the "what needs to be done/fixed" thoughts. Sometimes you have to make a concerted effort to increase the positives in life... so along those lines, let me take a minute to list some of the things for which I am very thankful:
My health and ability to work and exercise when I can;
Steven, Rebecca, Emily, Claire, and baby boy on the way- it is very comforting to see how much Steven cares for Rebecca, and likewise, how much Rebecca cares for Steven- I love how Rebecca takes care of 'my baby' and truly loves him; how much joy I get from little girl hugs and the calling of 'Nana' when they see me;
Thomas, who is so full of life, and can find such joy in day to day dealings while discovering what his calling is within God's plan;
Susanna, who demonstrates such wisdom, in life and in academics- such perceived strength!;
Steve and the years that were so good, and the children that we had together;
My parents and their continued long life- their strength and wisdom keep me going when I am down;
I guess for now, that's all...take time to let those around you know the 'good'.